12.31.2009

Just read "The Chronicles of Bernie Madoff" by Brian Ross....Man, Bernie should be publicly tortured till he bleeds to death! Wut a gutless fuck! Good book, read it!

12.30.2009

If you are trading stocks with a margin account, the $$ you are concerned with keeping an eye on is the "Special Memorandum Account"...That is essentially your Buying Power times 2! EX: You have $2,000 in your SMA account. Your total buying power that you can invest with is actually $4,000! Giddy up!

12.29.2009

If you are a single dude and want to increase your chances of hooking up with a hot chick....GO TO A COUNTRY CONCERT! Amen!

12.28.2009

Industry restrictions work better than telling companies how they should make a product.

12.27.2009

If your refrigerator is humming louder than usual, you probably have to clean the air vent in the back of the unit as well as take of the metal plate and clean the dust off the coil! I learned the hard way on that one! New fridge please!!

12.26.2009

If you have a hunch, bet a BUNCH!! Words to live by in the stock market

12.25.2009

There is no Santa Claus...Boo

12.24.2009

I learned that sometimes you just have to TRUST the Professionals. Do your due diligence of course before you pick someone but in the end, let them do their jobs...I do what I do as a career for a reason and they do what they do for a reason! Big, big shift of control for me...applause please?

12.23.2009

No matter how busy you are in life, you have to go the extra mile and do something Romantic for your spouse! Yes Men, that means you...If you can't remember the last time you did something romantic it is probably time to GET ON IT! You can thank me later.

12.22.2009

It sure does feel good to give back!

12.21.2009

You have to put your own stubborn ego a side and branch out to the people you know, trust and respect in order to get somewhere in Life! Can I get an Amen from my brothas??!!

12.20.2009

Josh Cribbs, you are the NFL RECORD HOLDER for Kick Off returns for a Touchdown in the History of the NFL! Mad props Cribbs.

12.19.2009

Do NOT...I repeat, DO NOT scream drunken homosexual one-liners at 4am at a house party that you've never been to.....There just might be a beastly, heavily intoxicated dyke sleeping in a guest room close by....Oh boy guys. I think its time to get outta here!

12.18.2009

Chicks really really like 80s music. It ignites their drinking spirit and lights a fire under their hood. Ha

12.17.2009

Better check the tread on your tires before you prepare for the Midwest snow season...Slip n slip crackas!

12.16.2009

Calling your momma first thing in the morning on her birthday is where its at boys!

12.15.2009

Josh Cribbs, you are an absolute BEAST! You are my new Hero!

12.14.2009

There is almost no better feeling than the Cleveland Browns beating the Pittspuke Squeelers! Specially when you end their playoff hopes!

12.13.2009

When you are managing a big group of grown ass men softball players...Less is more!

12.12.2009

Its more fun to NOT ask your spouse what she wants for her birthday. Guys...use your fucking creativity and get her something caarucial! Don't be boring and take the easy route...the reward outweighs the risk fellas! Giddy up!

12.11.2009

Iowa fans are worse than Pittsburg Steeler fans!

12.10.2009

Trust your instincts over everything.

12.09.2009

I learned that if I host another large get together at my house that I will have a paid crew handle everything from setup to cleanup. That way, I can enjoy my company!

12.08.2009

In Vegas, if you DON'T know someone, are NOT Famous and are NOT Rich, you are like a chicken running around with your head cut off! That is the Vegas trap. Know nothing so try EVERYTHING!

12.07.2009

****New Word Alert**** "Spinner". A spinner is a female that is petite in figure and weighs 100 lbs give or take 10 lbs. The word spinner comes from the visualization of the female being so light that you could physically spin her around with one hand while banging her...Probably while the male is sitting in a chair and the female straddling him of some sort. Hat tip J.D!! Giddy up!

12.06.2009

I learned while at THE STEAK HOUSE inside the Circus Circus Casino in Las Vegas that there is a painting of a Cow and he has just about the biggest pair of balls I have seen! Oh, we decided to call him "Bert"

12.05.2009

I learned that while walking down the Las Vegas strip, there are people lined up like an assembly line snapping, clapping, flipping "Nude Entertainment" cards at pedestrians....Just about the funniest thing I have EVER seen....It was almost like they were in a competition to develop/perform the most "original" way of getting ones attention by smacking a card against a box or other stack of cards...Hilarious!!

12.04.2009

I learned that being too Successful is threatening! I.E. Microsoft, Goldman Sachs. Make too much money, the Government wants a huge chunk of it! My advice, take your company private and you can make all the money you deserve and tell everyone to FUCK OFF!!

12.03.2009

I learned that when a Titty Bar turns into a Gold shop, its time to sell Gold! Contrarian Investing at its finest!!

12.02.2009

I learned that viewing a pro basketball game from 4 rows behind the bench is Fucking Awesome!

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12.01.2009

I learned that sometimes too much innovation actually hurts an industry in the short term. Take Natural Gas. New equipment and tech innovation over the past few years has actually made it too efficient. An ever increasing supply has weighed down pricing putting pressure on profit margins. The nat gas industry has been a laggard over the past few years despite "Global Warming" and an infinite demand to heat a home or use a stove.

11.30.2009

Go to CastTV.com to watch TV shows for free!! Awesome, awesome site!

11.29.2009

I learned that the "Sons of Anarchy" TV show on FX is THE best TV show as of the last 2 years! Bomb ass shit peoples!!

11.28.2009

Dubai is Fucked!

11.27.2009

If you are NOT a professional painter, tape your baseboards and around the ceiling. It takes about an hour more, but saves you multiple hours of touching up

11.26.2009

During an automated customer service phone call, if you keep hitting zero repeatedly, you most likely will get a LIVE person.....Giddy up!!

11.25.2009

I learned that you don't have to be right in everything you do, you just have to know WHEN to GET RIGHT!!

11.24.2009

I learned that the majority of people do not know how to handle a compliment.

11.23.2009

J.Lo is not the same J.Lo......Boo! Get on it J.Lo or your knew nickname will be Jello!

11.22.2009

If you have to give your vehicle a "blowjob" in order to allow yourself to start the ignition b/c of a D.U.I., you have exactly 2 minutes to actually perform or you gots to do it again. Shizzle

11.21.2009

I learned today that when a Man trims/grooms his lower region...ok...screw it, genitalia.....it's called "Manscaping"...ahhaaha, giddy up!

11.20.2009

I learned today that I should acknowledge the toilet water level before sitting down to drop a duece....no need for an unexpected "weiner drop in the pool"...not very bodily sanitary!! Giddy up!

11.19.2009

I learned that it IS very Manly to be the only guy to participate in a Total Body Workout class with 30 other women and SURVIVE!! I call it the "Booty Class". Pump that shit!

11.18.2009

I learned a new word today. "Asscicle" It's when a turd gets stuck in your butt hairs when you're dropping a duece and you have to wiggle it off. **Boink**

11.17.2009

There is definitely a misnomer about Cholesterol. For decades high cholesterol readings have grown immediate immense concern. Doctors have put fear in patients and their loved ones over a silly numerical reading. Pharmaceutical companies and ignorant Doctors have made over priced cholesterol medicines the quick fix. I learned today that this shouldn't be the case. With a simple IMT scan, one can find out if they are in danger of arteriosclerosis, which is the damaging/clogging of the arteries which of course leads to heart attacks. I have had a 2 year battle to try and keep my cholesterol under 200. It has been as high as 280 and as low as 153 (with the help of 10mg of Crestor). I eat very very well and am an above average exerciser in my age group. By finally getting referred to a Dr. that knows what the fuck he's talking about, I was told the facts about cholesterol. Without boring you, I was introduced to an IMT scan. It is basically an ultra sound-like scan of your carotid arteries around your neck. At my age, it is a preventative scan to see if there is clogging or even the start of clogging in my arteries. If so, cholesterol is a concern, if not, the Dr said, and I quote, "I could give a fuck about your cholesterol". Amen to that! If you have high cholesterol, get an IMT scan and find out the facts!! Cheers

BTW...The Dr. said my arteries are PERFECT! So, to celebrate, we had a shot of Honduran Moonshine!! I shit you not!! Giddy up!

11.16.2009

When using MSFT Excel, there is a quick way to add up cells without actually creating a formula. One can just highlight the cells that you want added up and in the lower right hand corner toolbar, there will be a SUM=###. This shortcut adds up the cells that are highlighted without using a formula such as =SUM(A1:G1

11.15.2009

If you go to Joe's Bar on Weed St for a concert, why pay $4.50 for a bottle of beer when you can pay $10 for a pitcher??!!